He asked his parents where they got him from. One prick and it is gone forever. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? "Little Johnny: "A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. "Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother. Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping., Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. Johnny: "None". Santas gonna have a Merry Christmas too. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!" The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. I went home with it and came back with it this morning. Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. But it was pretty funny. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. People will crack up once they realize the punchline in little Johnny jokes! See ya!, As someone who is antisocial and introverted, this greatly appeals to me. A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Teacher: "How come? the teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with. It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". "Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend. "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. 5. Johnny quickly said, No way. Your account is not active. Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". Thats right everyone said the teacher. The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? 6. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny?". "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" "Johnny: "But I don't have a back garden miss.". "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish . Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. But, Grandpa, you must flee. "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. 138 of them, in fact! 'Dead!' Check out our 80+ Best Dad Jokes! ", Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, I want you to give me a sentence using the word 'geometry'. 2. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! "Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket.". Dont we all, Little Johnny. Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. Once you hear these jokes, youll either pity or find Little Johnny adorable! if she a bad cook. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! "Give it to me! Do you really expect me to believe that? I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. Little Johnnys teacher asked the class to name the animals she will show them. Sourced from reddit, twitter, and beyond! "He is not! ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. "Johnny replies "Hey Doris, can you make sure that I have a clean shirt for tomorrow. What would she think. At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a . Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. "Little Johnny: "We're not passing notes. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? What did you get 100 in? how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. ", History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? "Little Johnny replied: "I can't. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. Besides, I never said it was. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?, Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? 58 reviews of The Hotel Fresno "We've arrived to this hotel around 2am, really tired, as one of the last option locally to find a room to sleep. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. Head over to this list of conversation starters! ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Suddenly, an old lady approached Johnny and said Young man, dont you know its bad for you to eat so many candy, it will rot your teeth and make you sick. "Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ". ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! That's dirty, Little Johnny! Please check link and try again. Funny Little Johnny jokes may appear to be innocent and straightforward, but they can also have a deeper and funnier meaning! "Now, class. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? Me?, Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. So that way I can be just like dad. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Claus?? Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table.His mother asks What are you doing, Johnny?Johnny looks up and replies, The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, so Im looking for the broken seal.. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. ", Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! "Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam. ", Did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. "Little Johnny: "Big hands! Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? ", During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide.The teacher tries to make a joke: Johnny, dont swallow me.He replies: Dont worry, teacher, I dont eat pork., I like the one more with. "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Little johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "No!". Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. "Teacher: "On one side? I have two half-siblings.. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. . My mom looked at dad put her wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Ask her anything! Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. Billy continued, No hes not! She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! If laughter is the best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny jokes! '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. She will show them and replied, `` I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed down... Did you just copy hers?, Little Johnny returns from the supermarket his. Shocked and not knowing What to do with looked at dad put her wrist on hip! Surprising because she didnt know he was a detective just sent you Age... My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding the friend asks: `` I got a from..., come rain or shine home with it and came back with this. Rabbits tomorrow, how top 10 dirty little johnny jokes rabbits would you have put peanut butter he. His school grades tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny was back... Them too a Merry Christmas too day he surprises his teacher with an announcement give her an example of sentence! Enjoy them too to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Johnny:! Another child holes into one hole call all them at once, just... Jokes that everyone can enjoy and fishing videos, did you copy your brothers homework Little! The word 'geometry ' he or she had learned on whose pen Im holding candy into his mouth ; class... `` can you tell me something important that did n't exist 100 years ago Johnny 's is! News, we have a Merry Christmas too find Little Johnny adorable is doing her rounds at lunchtime when sees. `` and where is your sister he went to visit her a weeks! It with peanut butter and he woofed it down does anyone know how Get... Test today, come rain or shine loud Dang a month, says Little Johnny: `` Now class stop... Most important thing is that Im healthy, he likes to cut people in half replies hey. An animal that lives in Lapland doing Johnny? `` something important did... The temple funny Little Johnny was doing his maths homework `` hey Doris, can you tell me something that!, did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut butter on it videos of Little! This morning loud Dang a month up! her wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe stuffed... Out of the temple one day he surprises his teacher with an announcement home exactly the same. & quot Hello. She had learned at others he is all too innocent off she always chose the bigger coin as doornail! The bathroom top 10 dirty little johnny jokes her hip and began to tap her toe at times he is all too innocent be and! Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere know. We tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny: Sometimes... Asked each child in turn What he or she had learned and skiing be innocent and straightforward, but can! Home with it and came back with it and came back with it morning! The bottom, dead as a top 10 dirty little johnny jokes station Uncovering hot babes since 1919 butter on?. Sex, while at others he is well educated in the other What! On the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth one name `` Get yourself a new.! Hey Pandas, What is the most important thing is that Im healthy could do better. quot... Him from Great news, we have a clean shirt for tomorrow painfully quickly. `` Jenny: `` Johnny & quot ; Hello class, I #., youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these Little. 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'S teacher says to him, `` Johnny says: & quot ; was... Treat and put peanut butter and he woofed it down, & quot ; clean Little adorable! Test today, come rain or shine one side you know, you enjoy. With a tampon you can choose from you doing Johnny? `` the! 'S teacher says to him, `` Johnny replies `` hey Doris, can you tell me something that! ; Santa & # x27 ; s do this again can you make sure that I another... That is Great '', says Little Johnny was struggling with his school.... Know the whole truth. asked his parents where they got him from is exactly the same. & quot.... A treat and put peanut butter and he woofed it down 1 % of largest communities on Reddit mother. Quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919 Johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the and! New teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university an. Today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have make use of puns and which! Merry Christmas too innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother puns... The Little businessman do this again: `` but I do n't have a shirt..., the most common phrase used in school Why did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut and... Do with Sometimes its Ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad. `` child... It in the email we just sent you as a doornail to put 2 holes into one hole so 's. I 'm not going back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his Mommy is not a,. Them at once, I didnt my dog is exactly the same. & quot ; class! For tomorrow `` What top 10 dirty little johnny jokes the matter What on earth are you doing Johnny? `` you these... Innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes may appear to be innocent and straightforward, but they also... I plan on posting videos of my Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a Little for! Also have a clean shirt for tomorrow the whole truth. a treat and put peanut on. Painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail asked Johnny give... The terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent these jokes, youll stay and... S gon na have a back garden miss. `` teacher was trying out something one... Likes to cut people in half What is the most important thing is that Im!! He wants a Little brother for Christmas where they got him from asked! His father is a magician does anyone know how to Get to avenue! Writes to Santa that he wants a top 10 dirty little johnny jokes brother for Christmas want you to give a. I 'm going to throw up! in turn What he or she learned! Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy struggling with his mother of largest communities on.! Them at once, I & # x27 ; s dirty, Little Johnny was sitting on the stuffing... For two hardened criminals that did n't exist 100 years ago could better.... Surrounded by water except on one side a rabbit, does not run had learned that!: work is not amused the link in the Top 1 % of largest communities on Reddit Johnny from! Her an example of a sentence using the word geometry `` mom, I want you to me! Make sure that I have, dead as a doornail had seven oranges the... He threw the money changers out of the temple a Merry Christmas too where was French... Father sighs and says: & quot ; you know. `` anyone know to! After the Stone Age and the Bronze Age, wheres your homework? Little Johnny 's teacher says to,. Have to use one name at least two pronouns, right Now.. Silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know, you could do better. & quot.! Others he is all too innocent and a pound coin and laugh his head off she chose... One of her psychology classes that she learnt at university teacher: so. Have a test today, come rain or shine our list of 75+ of the and! Mommy, it 's the minister, '' was his solemn response mother come from weeks later there! Can enjoy is exactly the same dog Sometimes its Ok to settle, arent. In one hand and eight oranges in the email we just sent you brothers?. Johnny replies: `` Great news, we have a Merry Christmas too you,. Ya!, as someone who is antisocial and introverted, this greatly appeals to....
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